10 Steps to Self Love this Valentines -By Michelle Greaves

I asked my friend and soul sister Michelle Greaves, a Multi-passionate writer, poet, property manager and investor to share her wisdom and gift for words in this blog article. Some fun facts about Meesh is that we were housemates in her beautiful house in North London, I was her Bridesmaid and the best is that Mesh raps her heart out, with Goddess, feminine slams and tunes, which are incredible. Plus she has the cutest British accent while she does it!

I have been ‘alone’ now for 3 years. I say alone loosely because now it’s been 3 years, I’ve realised (post divorce) - I am never alone. And love and peace are always there. I knew this 3 years ago. I knew the knowledge from reading it. But I didn’t KNOW IT as in feel it, embody it, know it to be true through experiencing it. I can truly say that I love me and who I am. So it’s from this place I give my tips for self love this valentines… 

Heal the wounds 

We cannot love ourselves if we don’t face our shadows. People have different ways for this. Mine is through an incredible therapist who uses EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and visual techniques to heal wounds. This has been my main path to embodying self-love. Some like my soul sister, who owns this biz, use shamanic healing (you can ask the queen about this). Whichever way - find the way to heal pain, trauma, abuse, fear. Face it. Because the light is in the shadows. 

Self love day 

Commit to a self love day if you can, or an afternoon or morning is also enough. Commit to this once a week. A date day for yourself. For me (pre lockdown) this looked like going to a healthy café and writing my books with music playing through my headphones and eating a delicious lunch. Or a shopping day in my local city Manchester. I love hanging here because of the different people and buzz of the city! Others for me are walking my dogs in nature, cooking a beautiful recipe. I tune in just before the day and ask my inner girl (come to that later).

Morning Practice 

I read a book a year ago ‘Miracle Morning’ and sneaked 3 practices from here. 

Gratefulness – feeling grateful for your life. I write this out. Something like ‘I’m grateful for the birds singing, the moon, my beautiful boy and my life’

Intentions / Affirmations – these are mega powerful! Again I write them, probably three each morning. Once written I close my eyes and I feel it / I see it! One of them for me was money. My affirmation was ‘I will increase my income by £10,000 by the end of the year’. I felt it, really felt it! By the end of the year (this was the year of lockdown) I did it! It wasn’t in the way I planned. I did it and It blew my mind!

3 actions per day. This is amazing. It keeps things moving. 

Inner Girl 

Listen to you – your inner girl / goddess. For me the inner girl I see in front of me changes. Sometimes childlike, sometimes super spiritual, somethings sexy. I’ve gone on a journey to find her. SHE KNOWS. The voice inside you. (do the trauma work to see her) 

Live your passion 

This is the highest form of self love. Live your truth. For my soul sister that Is her amazing and authentic jewellery biz. For me it’s being a mum, a writer and property investor. I live life to my values each day. 

Go with the flow 

I feel like to love oneself, you have to JUMP – jump into the waterfall and flow like a river. My soul sister taught me this ‘flexible knees’, learn to surf. Life changes. So that 10 grand I made -  I was about to invest in a new property venture. It fell through (thankfully) as lockdown hit. Instead I took that money and learnt stocks and shares and made £20,000 learning a new way to make money. Double what I wanted originally…. from FLOWING. From jumping into the waterfall.

Give love 

Everyday I love my son. And I love my dogs. I feed them all. I walk my dogs. I give to my son with love and devotion. I’m a good person. I look out for my friends and my family. And I believe good karma comes back to me tenfold. My life is like magic. After this 3 years things work for me.  I have believed this my whole life, believed in the magic of life and love. My life has been like magic and this is why, this belief! 

Boundaries and say NO!

Self love mega initiator! So toxic friends, toxic relationships they have to go! Out the door! You cannot grow if you allow these vibes to bring you down. I’ve felt at times insulted simply because I’ve been smashing life, happy, sexy, flirty. Why should I be judged on this? So I had strong boundaries. If friends did not respect my happiness then they are not friends. So say no to say yes. I’m a working mum. My time off is precious. I’m dating too. So I had to be strict with my time. Some people didn’t like my NO. But that’s honouring me. And the people that matter, stay! And you love hanging out with them. My circle is smaller, but way HIGHER VIBE. 

Non-judgement

This is one I am learning now. I see a lot of divide and judgement at the moment. I feel this can bring love when we stay high vibe and don’t get involved with excuse my French ‘this shit’. Instead stay high vibe! High vibe not divide! I’m reading Gabrielle Berstein’s judgement detox at the moment. It brings us down when we judge others. Self love and love requires non judgement is probably one of the most ‘spiritual and compassionate’ we can become. I went to a very bitchy, private all girls school (slight judgement there I know) but it never felt right to me bitching. It always made me feel uncomfortable! I strongly believe that if we can leave that aside and build up others not put them down then this leads to more self love. 

DANCE! 

I’ve found this so powerful in self love and getting into the body. Find the tunes you love, make playlists and feel the music. Put on an outfit YOU feel sexy in and move. Pleasure too! I spent 9 months no relationship, only with myself (wink wink) and learnt a thing or two about self-pleasure. This 100% leads to self love! Orgasms baby! Pleasure and dance have to, have to be on the list.

I love my soul sister who I’m writing this blog for. I’m so inspired by her. And I can say I love myself and who I am . It’s been a journey – a 3 year one, if not my whole life. I wish you self love, I wish you face your shadows, I wish you peace because DAMN your beautiful. 

Michelle X

Connect with Michelle on her instagram @michelledawngreaves_

FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/michelledawngreaves

Let us know what is your favourite self-love step Michelle shared and share your own steps and journey with us!

Love and Light,

Dani X