How to see yourself through the eyes of love.
My friends are my sisters, my family and they know they can count on me and tell me anything without fear of being judged, and that I will hold space, just like they hold space for me, when I’m hurting. I have always been a listener. And sometimes all we need is someone to listen and see us.
Two of my friends, these two incredibly talented, beautiful and inspiring women told me that they no longer loved whom they have become, which broke my heart, cause if they only could see themselves through my eyes, eyes of love, they would be madly and crazy in love with themselves.
But I can totally relate to this feeling, because first of all, I believe that self-love needs work, just like any marriage or relationship. I think it’s a collective epidemic the lack of unconditional love we have towards ourselves. I also know that during my pre-menstrual phase of my cycle I struggle with my inner demons, even though I am fully aware of this uncomfortable phase of my cycle.
One of my friends asked for a hug, and I smudged her. The other asked for advice. And after a moment of silence, what I shared came from my heart, from my own experience, from my centre. It’s this intimate, raw behaviour that is a weird yet powerful, and most importantly, it works miracles for me.... And here it goes...
I confided to her that I “mother” myself.
I have always had this strong archetypal mother energy about me, even though I am an eternal child. When things are hard I do this thing of leaving my body, my human vessel and role, and I take a mother role towards this struggling “little-me-human”, just like I do with my own daughter. In NLP there are exercises where you disassociate from yourself, to see different perspectives of what’s going on beyond your perspective. I imagine myself “flying” above my body and start mothering myself to go to bed, to eat healthily, to not hang around someone who isn’t lifting me up. To say “no” to whatever is keeping me from thriving. I start making the smart decisions to help the “me”, that is not in the best place to make decisions. I even talk to myself in the third person, “Dani, you are upset cause you are tired and need to rest, let’s get you hydrated, let’s feed you a buddha bowl and green juice, let’s go to a sauna... “, I know it sounds crazy. But it works!
“In women who runs with wolves”, Dr. Clarissa Pinkole Estés, tells this story about little match girl, that has no mother and is miserable and poor. She dies in the cold, because she doesn’t have an “inner mother” to take care of her and keep her alive. We all need to parent ourselves, love ourselves like a mother would through our struggles and hard times. This book that is one of my Bible’s is a manifesto for self-care and keeping alive our divine inner spark that feeds off of creating, purpose and meaning.
This is just a little inner resource that I have within, that works well for me and who knows it might work for someone else too. Just thought I would share. I also love wearing the rose quartz love mala, to remind myself that I am love, while meditating. Meditation is a game changer for harnessing self-love.
If you would like a rose quartz mala of your own, click here:
If you find this article helpful, share with the people you love and do leave a comment below and tell me what are your resources to shift from moments of self-loathing to self-love?