3 Steps To Successfully Manifesting Anything You Want.
I often get told that I'm the manifestation queen. My astrologist says that everything I touch turns into gold. There is nothing special or extraordinary about me. I’m just an ordinary person that takes her dreams really seriously. However manifesting only comes effortlessly to me when my intentions are aligned, meaning that, they are coming from a place that is genuinely authentic to myself and not from a place of keeping up with the Jone's and society's idea of success (driving a fancy car is not my idea of living my life to it's fullest, but I respect if it's yours). When the dream is not aligned then maybe the goal is coming from a place of ego, such as, living out someone else’s dream, like your parents, or doing what is seen in our culture as the right thing to do, the mainstream definition of success. There are many goals that are not really dreams, but ego traps. It can be hard sometimes to discern them.
When I was reflecting on how in my life I often manifested what I wanted, I broke down the fundamental attitudes that worked for me, so that if I ever wanted to pass this wisdom to my daughter, I could offer it to her in an easy formula. I was able to manifest some huge goals in my life, such as: Moving and living abroad three times, the portfolio scholarship at the art university of my choice, then the entry into the best nutrition university in London that was hard to get in, the prestigious embassy job that required a demanding examination, love, the house...
I was able to manifest my dream business that allowed me to be a full-time artist and then the one that seemed the most impossible of all, to have my spouse join all-in the business, after a successful 15 year career in aeronautics (he officially joined Lila in the Sky, this Summer). I never thought this would be possible (I did but it just seemed like moving mountains). From the vey beginning my personal vision was to create a business, in order to build the life I dreamed for our family which was for both of us to be able to work from home and live remotely wherever we wanted, as we are a multicultural family. This was always my WHY that kept me going.
I just wanted to break down the 3 foundational steps that in my personal experience and life's journey, have always worked for me when trying to manifest my dreams into reality. These 3 tips are different then what most people preach and teach on manifestation techniques online, but personally I find them more effective and if they can help someone else to achieve their dreams then my mission to contribute to a more happier world will be accomplished!
1. Get Clarity
Be clear with what it is that you truly want. Like I mentioned in the beginning of the article, the difference of goals and dreams can sometimes be clouded by ego traps. Finding what really makes you happy can be a painful journey that can get you ridiculed, rejected, out of your comfort zone or simply misunderstood. I went to two universities before risking my perceived reputation & image of being ridiculed by doing something I always loved doing since I was a child, which was stringing beads together, lol. Something that didn’t require an expensive education or that my family, friends and society would ever attribute to a high paying career. To this day I still get, “how is your little bead business doing?” and I don’t care anymore about other people’s assumptions, because I hit all of my own personal goals. I manifested my dream of having a family business and bringing my man home. Everyday I wake up grateful that I can work with my hands, create beautiful things and live a stress-free slow life, working in my pyjamas, if I have a cold or feel like it.
Be so clear of your goals, and what are the motives behind each one. Ask yourself why you want, what you want. Is it cause you want to impress someone, or to make your parents happy or it’s "the only way to achieve success"??? You are truly in the right direction and aligned, when your answer is, “I am doing it because it brings me so much joy and happiness that I need more of this just like oxygen to breathe, in fact I am completely obsessed about this one thing that I even forget to eat, sleep and the whole world when I am doing this thing”. What you feel so passionate about and brings you fulfilment where external validation is no longer required to you, is a clear indication that your dream comes from a place of authenticity and your personal truth.
When it comes to love, be crystal clear in what kind of values you want from the person you want to share your life with, even write them down. Include how you wish to feel and be treated. When you meet someone, don’t ignore the red flags and the core values of this person and if they are treating you the way you want to be treated. This is where a lot of people keep attracting relationships that are unhealthy and don't last. Be specific and clear in what you most desire out of your partner and don't settle for less. It is better to be alone and happy, leaving space available for someone who will add more fullness into your life, then to be stuck in a conflictual, co-dependant relationship that doesn't align with your core values. (There will be an article on manifesting love soon).
2. Take Daily Actions
Take one small action step every single day. Like Elon Musk says, “don’t do tomorrow what you can do today”. Every destination is a totality of all the steps taken to get there. This is why you have to really be passionately, obsessed with your dream, so that the steps and path feel so exciting that you cannot imagine giving up or living without doing that thing.
Manifesting what you want is not about just creating vision boards, visualising and meditating, however I do these three things too. Visualising is important, because as research demonstrates, the brain cannot differentiate between what is reality and what is imagined. Visualisation is one of the most popular tools and resources, attributed to elite athletes with reported successful outcomes. However an elite athlete or musician takes daily actions to get to their goals by practicing every single day.
When I started my jewellery business, I had a list of things that would get me from point A to Z and every day I would try to cross something off that list, day by day, whether it was pitching shops, magazines, finding new shows to exhibit my jewellery, sending newsletters, posting my creations...
Again when it comes to love the same philosophy of small actions can apply. I love the story of entrepreneur Leila Hormozi who joined the dating site Bumble and told herself she would just have coffee with 100 men, scheduling regular coffee dates, until meeting her husband in one of these dates. She was giving the universe a clear sign that she was open for love and to meet someone, while getting out of the house to make new friendships, having new experiences and enjoying good coffee.
After you find clarity on what you wish to manifest, create a strategy and action plan. Try to cross off one thing everyday from that list & plan. Richard Williams did the same for his daughter Venus and Selena, the bio movie of his story is truly inspirational and shows the importance of an action plan.
3. Ask For Help
I learned this one lesson during an ayahuasca plant medicine ceremony, in which I was told that I never accepted the help of others or asked for help, and how this was affecting my growth and manifesting what I desired.
Everyone has something to teach us and their experience can be a shortcut and map to you. If you want to bake the same decadent, chocolate brownies as your mom, just ask her for the recipe, don't put the ingredients in the bowl without the specifications she has to offer you, that if you actually bake it less then the average time, it will be moist inside and this is why everyone is obsessed with her brownies.
I learned a lot about business by accepting the help and asking for help, to a friend of mine that has a thriving business in Bordeaux and other incredible entrepreneurs I met in my journey. I learned about managing my finances by asking wealthy people I know for advice on how I need to manage my money. I have written emails and messages to everyone I know to support my business if they liked what I was doing, by buying jewellery. I also asked people for references, recommendations and testimonials. Some of these people are still clients to this day and have put me in touch with people who also love my jewellery. Asking for help can be daunting, but it makes you more "real", approachable and people love supporting you when you show your vulnerability and humanness. Trying to create the illusion of having a perfectly, put together life is isolating as nobody can relate to you.
Asking for help has become vital in my life because there are things in life that I just don’t know, or still don’t know that I don’t know, but someone else does. I learned a lot through hiring a coach for a year to help me grow my business and whatever new goal I want to achieve for my growth, I look and ask for help. When I decided I wanted to pursue singing, songwriting and music on the side, I hired a vocal coach with recording experience, who helped me to record my first song and sing in my first gig. Why walk blindly across the path if you can ask someone for a map and help to get you to your destination, without getting lost during the way.
In love, this works too. One of my closest friend’s once asked some of her friends, if they knew a nice guy to introduce to her. One of her friend’s happened to know a really nice guy, set them up on a date and now they are married with two beautiful kids.
So these are my 3 favourite tips for manifesting anything you desire. I wanted to keep clear of the visualisations and meditation tips, which like I mentioned before, I do use, but find that people that stick to just the visualisation and meditation tool without these fundamental 3 tips find it hard to manifest their true heart’s desire and get to the actual accomplishment tasks necessary to get to the desired destination. But do let me know in the comments if you also do these things, or if you have any tips that works for manifesting like a boss, as I would also love to learn from you. Also don't hesitate to share this with someone you know in your life that has a big dream.